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by Janice Robinson
The Zairian proverb, "Children are the reward of life," comes alive in African villages at the birth of a child. Celebrations are marked by dance, music and the coming together of the whole community. In Roots, the dramatic scene of the infant Kunta Kinte being offered to God by being thrust toward the heavens by his father, is just one way to celebrate a newborn's arrival. This particular scene offers a window into the solemn and powerful naming ceremonies of African tribal people. Women also play an active role in welcoming the newborn; African women have traditionally gathered to pray for the baby. They pass their wisdom on to the new mother, offering prayers, advice and guidance.
Whether you are African or African-American, having a baby is an exciting and frightening period in your life. This passage into motherhood should be celebrated appropriately. When a sista-friend makes the commitment to host a baby shower, she is bringing the new mother's community together to support her new family. It provides the new mother with the chance to pre-bond and welcome her baby. This event is made memorable by incorporating our great African-American heritage, which not only reflects and celebrates who we are, but who this unborn baby will become. We must recreate these traditions that were lost to us during the 400 years of slavery. A baby shower with an Afro-centric theme is the perfect way to honor our ancestry and rejoice at the coming of new life.
Traditionally, in the United States, a baby shower is given 4 to 6 weeks before the baby is due so that expectant parents will be prepared for the baby's arrival. A new trend is to host a shower after the baby is born.
In many African civilizations, it is considered bad luck to celebrate the baby before it is born. According to Dr. Abu Abarry, of Temple University's African-American Studies Department, "The unborn child belongs to the spiritual world. Once the baby is born and has survived for seven days, then it's time for a celebration."
Whenever you hold the shower--- before or after the baby's birth--- be considerate of your guests' work schedules. Weekday showers should be held in the evening. Weekend showers are typically in the afternoon but can be scheduled in the evening to let people run errands and attend religious services. For co-workers who are planning a shower, schedule it during lunch time.
A baby shower can be held almost anywhere. Popular locations are in a friend's home or office. Banquet halls and restaurants with private rooms are good for larger gatherings. Summer showers can be held at a park. Whatever the location, parking is important for guests.
Prepare the guest list six weeks before the shower. Acquire a list of the expectant mother's friends and relatives by asking her partner or family members. Collaborate with the baby's father to keep the shower a surprise. Ask those on the list if there's someone you should be inviting who isn't on the list. Make sure elders are present.
There are several different Afro-centric baby shower cards available on the market. Mail the invitations at least four weeks in advance. Include an RSVP, a map with directions and gift registry information, if available. Follow up with a phone call to those who have not responded by the appointed date. Use African-American postage stamps!
In Ghana, as in the United States, gifts reflect the type of relationship you have with the parents. It may be difficult to determine what to give when the shower is a surprise and there is not gift registry. Enlist the help of family members to determine the needs of the mother, or ask the mother directly without spilling the beans about the shower.
Homemade decorations add a distinctive touch to the event. Use Kente cloth to mark the drama and joy of going from one life state to motherhood. Decorate the gift table or an umbrella using this special cloth and have the Mother-of-Honor sit under it. Decorate the umbrella with "rain drops" made of colorful foil wrap hung from strings. Attach cut-outs of babies and storks on the rim. Include African symbols in the decor.
Add gold bows to the gift table. Use streamers or authentic Kente strips or other festive African cloth.
Of course, the Mother-of-Honor should have a corsage. If you are ordering it, ask for tropical flowers from the Caribbean-- calla lilies, birds of paradise, anthriums--- accent them with Kente cloth, braided raffia, African beads, gold ribbon and a baby toy, such as a pacifier. Purchase a guest book for friends to sign upon their arrival.
In the U.S., baby showers usually feature games. This differs from African societies, where the traditions and rituals associated with pregnancy are highly spiritual and ceremonious. While some rituals are fun because of their festive nature, they should not be confused with games.
Emily Gunter, Rites of Passage Priestess with African-American Women on Tour, offers these tips for a spirit-filled celebration.
1. Remove shoes in recognition of the sacredness of the ritual.
2. Pour water from a wooden cup into a plant. Say a prayer to honor the ancestors. This is a common way to begin African ceremonies.
3. The Mother-of-Honor sits in the middle of the circle under a Kente cloth umbrella. Guests go around the sista-circle and share childbirth or childrearing experiences.
4. All stand. Move counter-clockwise around the Mother-of-Honor. Share wisdom while attaching gifts of money (Ghana).
5. Sit in the sista-circle, meditatively sending positive energy to the new mother. Guests share a poem or song. Play soothing music. Rain, ocean or African drum sounds are ideal.
6. Form a trust walk to send your love to the new mother. Blindfold the Mother-of-Honor and form two lines. As she walks through, guests gently touch her. They offer hugs as reminders that "she may not see where she is going but she is going to get there."
7. Sit down again in the sista-circle; each guest gives the Mother-of-Honor a blessing while touching her shoulder.
8. Close with a benediction, eating and opening of the gifts. For a special touch, hire a storyteller and drummers.
Sit in a circle. Open gifts at end of the ceremony. A friend sits next to the Mother-of-Honor to record the name of the presenter of each gift. This record will be used by the Mother-of-Honor to send thank-you notes after the shower. Pass gifts around for others to see. Save gift cards for the baby's scrap book.
Written thank-you notes should be mailed out by the Mother-of-Honor within one week of the shower. After the baby is born, the new mother sends birth announcements to the shower guests.
Include the usual snack foods, like vegetables and dip. Serve fruit, representing life. Finger foods and platters can be passed around the circle. Have at least eight items per person on the hors d'oeuvres tray. In some African cultures, the new mother is served a porridge, something similar to oatmeal, to help heal her womb. It is also traditional in African cultures to serve rice. A filling meal would be Jollof rice.
Extend the baby theme. Serve baby shrimp salad or a watermelon stroller filled with fruit. A cake can be the centerpiece. Make a fruit punch; add a lemonade ice-ring mold to keep the punch cold without diluting it.
Jollof Rice
2 3-pound broiler-fryer chickens
1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 large onions, chopped
4 large cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup grated fresh ginger root
6 cups converted long grain rice
1 3-ounce can tomato paste
2 tablespoons cayenne pepper or to taste
2 teaspoons salt
2 pounds carrots, peeled and diced
1 pound string beans
10 cups chick broth mixed with water
Clean and cut the chickens. In Dutch oven, heat oil. Brown chicken. Remove with slotted spoon. Set aside on paper-towel lined platter for later use. Heat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Add onion, garlic, ginger root to pot; sauté until wilted. Add rise. Stir to coat completely.
Add tomato paste, curry powder, cayenne and salt. Spoon rise mixture evenly into baking pan or large roaster pan. Stir in chicken, carrots, green beans and broth. Mix well. Cover pan; bake 40 minutes. Stir before serving. Makes 25 main dish servings.
Cut the watermelon halfway down from the top and halfway down from the side to take out a quarter section. Remove the inside of the watermelon and use for fruit salad. Make fruit salad and fill the watermelon stroller. Cut orange circles and attach with toothpicks for wheels. Use a cut straw and pipe cleaner for the handle. Garnish with pink or blue ribbons attached with toothpicks.
This article was originally printed in Successful Black Parenting. Reprinted with permission.
Janice Robinson, author of Pride & Joy: African-American Baby Celebrations," a former publisher of Successful Black Parenting. She has appeared on CNN and other television and radio stations, as well as in many major daily newspapers throughout the United States. In 1997, Janice was awarded the Allstate Insurance African-American Woman of Triumph Award. Currently, she works as a children's television producer in south Florida, where she lives with her teenage daughter.
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